The Ohio Buckeyes

I get real pissed off as I did last night when I see a better team lose to a worse team in any sport. There should be no such thing. I'm settling down to watch a nice sports game knowing that my team is the better one, so I've got a few beers, some snacks maybe, and I watch the game. When all of a sudden little junior baby sonofabitch point guard can't make the plays he's supposed to, the assholes on the rest of the team are missing almost every shot they take and I'm dangerously close to just putting some porn on and watching some big titties flopping around because sports just got gay.

If you're the better team, win the god damn game. That's your job, it's not hard, I expect a win, I should damn well get a win! I mean what would have happened if instead of attacking Trenton, NJ on Christmas 1776 and winning like he was supposed to, George Washington left all of his weapons, half his troops, and went over to attack the Hessians/English with his dick in his hands? I'll tell you what would have happened, we'd be stuck here eating fucking fish and chips and still be completely oblivious to the wonders of modern dentistry because we'd have Prince William here pushing us around. Is that what you want Ohio State, you want the king of England to just come into your house and start poking you in the chest, going through your fridge and eating the last of your cookie dough ice cream? No, of course you don't, so win the fucking game like you're supposed to next time, or the Conshequenshes will be dire.