Standing in Line

I hate standing in line. Unfortunately, it's something I can't avoid. Fine I can accept lines. What I can't accept is the retard that pops up once in a while and decides to stand next to you instead of behind you. What the fuck are these people doing? Is the activity at the post office counter, or wherever, so exciting that they don't want to miss at thing? Perhaps they have a seeing malady and think they are behind me. It makes me uncomfortable. Get the hell behind me you jackass? Are you jockeying to slip in front of me if I look away? That's not gonna happen. Then what is it? Why can't you just get behind me. I promise, I won't fart on you...much. That brings me to another thing. It's standing IN line not standing ON line. I haven't physically stood ON line since I was in the military. So, unless there is an actual painted line on the floor that you are standing on, then you are standing IN line. And while you are standing IN line...stay the fuck behind me!

The Sky Is Falling!

Scientists Offer Frightening Forecast

That is the headline I just read that topped off a story on the horrors of what environmental disasters we can expect in the future. The keyword of the story, of course, was global warming. I'm sorry, this type of article is fucking awful. It will send people into a panic. Why are we listening to these idiots? Furiousitron 5000 put it best when he said (sic) "Why are we putting our faith in people who are predicting global catastrophe in 10+ years when forecasters can't even get correctly predict an accurate 3-day forecast?"

I agree. And I don't care what your stance on global warming is. I think it's bullshit. Furthermore, I don't care. And yes, it's that kind of attitude that can get us in trouble. Ha ha, who cares? Secondly, who the hell do we think we are assuming we can destroy the earth? We might destroy ourselves...but the earth will continue onward without us. Now, I have to go and dump some motor oil in a nearby creek. LOL.

Inept Postal Employees

Now I'm not going to trash all postal employees, I like more than a few of them. However, there's this one black cow that really has some issues. I don't know what is going on in her head but I asked her three different questions and she gave the same reply to each "I ain't gonna lie to you." What kind of answer is that? I would have been better served if she had simply told me to go fuck myself. Today I found out that my missing parcel was 'probably not scanned in at the Philadelphia Post Office.' Not scanned in? Isn't that what I paid for; delivery confirmation? How can you not scan something in that has already been scanned into the system at one end? Is it laziness? So now I'm fucked because the package is lost and I'm going to have to pay for it. Good going postal jerks. For God's sake people, I've said it before, if you don't like your job, find another. Don't hang around lousing things up for everyone around you and everything you touch!

Left Turn Loser

Hey jerkoff! I'm talking to you, Mr.Can't-Wait-To-Make-A-Left-In-Front-Of-You. What's you're problem? You couldn't wait the three seconds it would have taken for me to drive past you and then make your turn? Are you fucking that bad of a driver or are you just retarded? Next time I'm not going to hit my brakes, fuck it. I have airbags. You'll be dead, though.

Drive Thru - 1 Burger, a shake and your greencard!

So I cruise through the drive-thru this morning to get some McD's coffee. You know, it's hard enough to understand these people through those horrible speakers but this particular place was staffed with some sort of Hispanic. Far be it for me to deny anybody employment but when you are dealing and speaking directly with the public I would think you need to have the capacity to clearly speak English. I had no idea what this broad was asking. I asked her to repeat herself three times to no avail. I finally replied "no" to whatever the hell she was asking. Naturally, my coffee came out wrong. Is it too much to ask that people in a customer service position be able to handle the English language without butchering it like Andrei Chikatilo and one of his victims? I went to Burger King one time and the woman behind the counter had open sores on her skin and enough hair on her arms to make a cryptozoologist look twice. Let's tweak our screening process Mr. Fast Food Chain Manager. Is it that hard to get 'norms' to work there? That is all.

Customer With Child Parking

What is the deal with this crap? Why should someone with a child get special parking privileges? I don't get it. If the kid is real small, they get tossed in a stroller and wheeled to the door, so that can't be it. If the kid is old enough to walk than there's not an issue there, so what is it? Are they playing the danger card in that the closer to the door a child is, the less chance they have of getting run over? Well, damn it, now I'm aiming for them! It just burns me up when we start dishing out benefits to people who don't deserve it. Why should I be ushered to the back, like a 1950's colored woman on a bus, just because I don't have a kid? The only sign I would accept for parking, besides handicapped is maybe a Pregnant Woman Parking. But they have to add: Must be showing! Hmmm, and maybe some extra wide parking for senior citizens. Those skeletons can't drive or park. LOL!

Nutty Filipinos Mimic Christ

What's the deal with Filipinos reenacting the passion of Christ? I mean, if they are true Christians, then they know that Jesus did this for a specific reason, and he agonized in the garden over the events he would eventually go through. They should be praising him, not getting nails driven thru their hands. What's the point? Do they really think Jesus is clasping his hands under his chin and thinking 'How wonderful?" I think he is massaging his nail holes and shaking his head at such a ridiculous spectacle. This is borderline idolatry and definite lunacy. Although this doesn't really grind my gears, it's causing them to smoke a little trying to figure out why grown people would want to mutilate themselves like this.

Apologies Apologies

Hehe, Kramer.

So I'm watching NBC News at 5:16 AM which is right now when I see a story about Don Imus from the radio show Imus in the morning. Apparently he was trying to be funny and was talking about the Rutgers U girls basketball team, and he said something like "They're rough, they've got lots of tattoos, they are some nappy-headed ho's." Now lots of people are pretty pissed off, which I suppose is understandable. Then I saw a poll on NBC news asking should he be reprimanded Yes or No, etc, etc. That is what reminded me how much I hate when someone like Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, that black guy from Grey's Anatomy and others say something some people may find distasteful and therefore either have to apologize, go into anger management classes, rehab, or otherwise. This bugs me more than anything you could possibly imagine, and why is that do you ask? Because it seems that the only people who ever have to apologize are those who offend a special interest group or minority group in this country.

You see, apparently the only people who really have freedom of speech in this country are anyone who is not a member of any kind of majority. If you're white and conservative, you pretty much can't open your mouth. It bugs me that people have to apologize all the time, I mean you do have freedom of speech in this country or at least you are supposed to have. The way I always understood it when I was a kid is that you could pretty much do and say whatever you wanted to as long as you stopped short of taking away someone else's civil rights. That was it, you didn't worry about hurting feelings, you didn't worry about any of that shit because you were allowed to. And these stupid people who scream for apologies are the same ones saying that the President is Big Brother, and they don't even realize that it's this sort of political correctness that is bringing about 1984 in a big way. One of the biggest things in 1984 was double think, meaning that you have to think twice before you say anything for fear you will offend big brother or others pretty much. I don't know how to go on here, I just get pissed off when people scream for apologies and I think I get even more pissed off when the other people give them. If I were to get famous I would try and scream lots of racial and offending epithets until I was no longer famous. It just grinds my gears. Don't be a pussy. You said something, so fucking what, no big deal.

Shut the Fuck up!

I see this car sitting outside a house today. It's sitting there for a little while and then she starts laying on the horn. Honk, honk, honk....ARGGHH. It's a beautiful day, get the fuck out of your car and knock on the door you lazy shit! Cripes! Instead you sit on your ass and disturb the whole neighborhood with your obnoxious blasts. I hate lazy shits like that!

Cheap Shitty Beer

I hate real cheap beer. I can't stand beer like Natural Ice, Hurricane, Colt 45 or any of the other cases that cost under 13 dollars. I don't know what the jerkoffs put in this shit at the breweries, but I swear if it's hops, barley, and water, then the water must be polluted, the hops must be rotten, and the barley must actually be cyanide. The stuff is terrible! You drink it, and first it tastes bad, and that's pretty bad, but okay fine, you deal with that, you suck down 5 or 6 of them and you're starting to get buzzed so the taste improves. It's still bad, but you just don't give a shit anymore. But then what happens? You wake up the next day with your head full of little motherfuckers pouding on the inside and the outside of it with hammers. Because you've just ingested probably about 10 beers worth (I say 10 beers, because if you're buying shitty beer like that you're not doing it to enjoy one or two with dinner, you're out to get hammered) of the shittiest ingredients on god's green earth. You're practically poisoning yourself, and why? Why does the beer company have to use the absolute worst ingredients they can find? It has to be possible for them to find decent materials and still charge the same price, thereby still being able to turn a profit. That's why I'm done with all of that crap, from now on the worst beer I'll drink, and even this would be a rarity would be Budweiser. After all: Das Leben Ist Zu Kurz Um Sheiss Bier Zu Trinken.

The Ohio Buckeyes

I get real pissed off as I did last night when I see a better team lose to a worse team in any sport. There should be no such thing. I'm settling down to watch a nice sports game knowing that my team is the better one, so I've got a few beers, some snacks maybe, and I watch the game. When all of a sudden little junior baby sonofabitch point guard can't make the plays he's supposed to, the assholes on the rest of the team are missing almost every shot they take and I'm dangerously close to just putting some porn on and watching some big titties flopping around because sports just got gay.

If you're the better team, win the god damn game. That's your job, it's not hard, I expect a win, I should damn well get a win! I mean what would have happened if instead of attacking Trenton, NJ on Christmas 1776 and winning like he was supposed to, George Washington left all of his weapons, half his troops, and went over to attack the Hessians/English with his dick in his hands? I'll tell you what would have happened, we'd be stuck here eating fucking fish and chips and still be completely oblivious to the wonders of modern dentistry because we'd have Prince William here pushing us around. Is that what you want Ohio State, you want the king of England to just come into your house and start poking you in the chest, going through your fridge and eating the last of your cookie dough ice cream? No, of course you don't, so win the fucking game like you're supposed to next time, or the Conshequenshes will be dire.

Possibly the Biggest Monkey Wrench in My Life Gears.

Niggers.

[edit] Alright, originally just posted for comedic aspects, I'd just thought I'd expand a bit. It's not necessarily black people alone, but it's the particular blacks who act like animals all the time. They're rude, loud, obnoxious, arrogant, lazy, and irritating. They have no regard for other people's peace of mind, or even wholeness of body seeing as they raise the murder rate in Philly and other cities to absurd amounts. They grind my gears. So very very much.

Office Worker Nonsense Emails

I can't stand when jerkoffs in an office setting do the stupidest shit. You get an email that's about 5 pages long and if you scroll down and read from the bottom up the emails will read like this with each of these emails being from another sender:

Email 1: John, there's a problem with invoice 13-a, we're about 300 dollars over our cost budget. Steve.
Email 2: George, FYI and appropriate action. John. CC: Bill
Email 3: George and John, there should be some action taken here. Bill. CC: Bob
Email 4: George, John, Bill, see emails below, I'd like to have a meeting to discuss a candid and appropriate response and pro-active movement on the subject matter listed. Bob.
Email that should be sent, but never is, we'll call it 5: Bob, George, John, Bill, can you please get your fucking act together, all I needed was a signature and you guys are here pussyfooting around jerking each other off, writing nonsense emails and blind or regular carbon copying any number of different vice-presidents in the company so that they can see that you know how to answer emails in an appropriately bureaucratic way, saying absolutely nothing in no less than 20 words. Dicks. Just sign the fucking paper.

You see, it is this type of shit that really grinds my gears. Unfortunately noone ever writes those emails that really need to be written to put those arrogant, sniveling, yes-men, "who moved my cheese" reading motherfuckers in their god damned place. Just fucking sign the paper asshole! This doesn't require meetings, it doesn't require phone calls, it requires nothing at all, no higherups need to be notified on some silly paperwork mishap. Just fucking sign it you pretentious fucks!