Rare, Old Retards on Ebay

This grinds my gears... I hate when I'm surfing around on ebay and you see catch words in auction titles like 'old' and 'rare' or 'vintage' only to find that the idiot listing the item has absolutely no clue what the hell he or she is selling. And I'm not talking about the honest-to-God have no clue people, I'm talking about the people who use these terms and then admit they have no idea what it is. So, I ask, how do you know it's either old or rare if you don't know what it is? I saw one stupid auction where the seller used the term 'medieval' in their title. I read the description and, I kid you not, they claim that this particular item is anywhere from the year 800ad to the 1900's. Hey, with an 1100 year window, they can't be wrong, right? The other beautiful thing about that particular auction that not only used the word 'medieval' but rare and old, is that the starting price, with no reserve, was .99 cents. Wow, you must think highly of your rare, old, medieval piece of shit.

I just got done looking at yet another retard's auction. (Yeah, I'm using the word 'retard' get over it!) The title reads: "Rare, Very Old Unknown Patch - Army? Sports? Coat?" Well if it's unknown, how do you know it's rare? Hell, you're not even sure what category to put it under but you claim it's rare. The title should have been "Unknown Piece of Shit Patch - You decide".

Think, people....think before you list an auction.

I had to email a lady one time because she used the words "Rare Marine Corps WW2 Dress Blues". I just couldn't stand it any longer. I told her that first of all, a WW2 Marine Corps Dress Blues is not rare. Second of all, her item was not from WW2 and I explained in a nice way why it wasn't a WW2 tunic. She accepted my explanation and told me "...that's what the guy who sold it to me said it was." And this brings me to my next gear grinder about ebay...

You have all these flea market commandos, and yard sale mutants cruising around and buying up everything under the sun with visions of making a fortune on ebay. Hey, morons, here's a bit of advice. Specialize in one or two things. Learn about the items you want to buy and sell and then pursue it. Don't go nuts buying everything and knowing nothing. You will get burned!

At a live auction over in West Chester, PA. I got in a bidding war with these two nutty broads over some WW2 uniforms. I won the auction and as I was leaving they approached me and asked, "Are those civil war uniforms?" My head almost exploded. I was very nice and simply replied no when I felt like saying, "You stupid bitches! You don't even know what the hell you were bidding on yet you felt compelled to bid up my price in the process?" I felt like whipping them with the belt off my trousers.

In conclusion to this long-winded post. If you don't know what it is, don't buy it. If you don't know what it is, don't bullshit the public, state so and sell it as such. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. But more often, if you do a little research you'll come out on top.

In the meantime, I have a rare, old, medieval, vintage DVD player I have to list. LOL!

Women Drivers and Cell Phones

Okay, it seems that whenever I was in the car and noticed someone using a cell phone, most times that person was a woman. So I decided to take a tally of who uses their cell phones most while driving. I only counted people who had a phone up to their ear. I did not count hands free phone usage and I did not count anyone who was using a phone in a work vehicle. I counted until I reached around 50, one gender or the other.

The results: Women - 54, Men - 17. I don't think anyone is surprised.

I've always maintained that when the announcement of the invention of the cell phone came out you could hear the collective popping of ladies nipples all across the globe. They love their phones. LOL!

Before you argue with me on the results, I offer that you do your own tally and you will see for yourself.

"Uh, can I call you back, I seem to have a steering column embedded in my chest"

Ticks 2

Kinda remind me of a part of our human race.

Smelly Dogs

Sigh! Why do dogs find the smelliest thing they can find and then roll around in it? My two dogs found some kind of fresh puddle of animal shit and decided to go for a roll in it. So at 1:00am I had to scrub them down with plenty of soap and profanity.

"You must first dial a one..."

This one is really pissing me off and I'm sure it has happened to every one of us. I get a call from a different area code. The number is stored on my phone so when I call back all I have to do is press redial. Wonderful invention that redial, it saves my dialing finger 4 valuable seconds. Then it happens, that creepy robot whore comes on and announces that you must first dial a one to complete the call. Well if you know that I must dial a 1 then why don't you just dial it for me you stupid phone bitch! Two things need to happen. Either dial the fucking 1 for me or store the fucking 1 in the phone's memory log. Let's get it together phone people, it's the 21st century for crying out loud. Ma Bell is rolling over in her grave. And yes, I know that eventually some day we may need to start dialing a 2 in front of the number but that day is not here yet. DIAL THE ONE FOR US you cyborg freak....DIAL IT FOR US!!!!!

Stupid Useless Ticks

What the hell is the purpose of a tick? Stupid tiny, bloodsucking freak of the insect world. I can accept that the filthy housefly has a purpose but these disease-bearing parasites do nothing for the world. They are small, sneaky bugs that can swell up, almost to the size, of a grape after sucking on your blood or the blood of a pet. I've tried drowning these things, running them through the washer and dryer to no avail. Only fire kills these things. Anyway, I thought I'd vent since the weather is finally warmer and these creatures will be making an appearance in the woods near you. Death to ticks! Huzzah!

Stupid Wawa Coffee

I am so sick of friggin' Wawa coffee. Unfortunately I have to get it every morning because there isn't a dunkin donuts or starbucks anywhere near me that might actually have a decent cup of joe. What I'm really sick of and what makes the coffee so bad is that I constantly see them mixing coffee together, the old pots mixed together when they need a pot to make new, so that what you have is a lot of pots that look full as though they are brand new but no, they're actually a mixture of hours old sludge from god knows how long ago. I mean you figure if they're following the idea that they should mix the old and the new coffee, you don't know when they're washing the pots out, you might be drinking coffee from an hour ago, last night, last week, you just don't know, but one thing you do know as soon as you taste it is that it is Grade F Sludge.

This just boggles my mind that a place like Wawa even has to do this, one of the staples of the bigger convenience stores such as 7/11, Wawa, etc, is coffee, this is the product that they sell the most of, and if it isn't then it is the reason many people come in and then by something else in addition to it. How dare they serve shitty coffee! I'm up at 5:45 AM to go to work and all I want is, if it's not at least fresh coffee right from the maker, then no more than an hour or so old, even that I'd be okay with. But this mixing nonsense has to stop. It should be a company wide policy that they do not mix the coffee, because you figure with the amount of coffee Wawa sells, they must buy it from distributors in unbelievably huge amounts, and it literally can't cost more than 15-20 cents per cup for coffee, cup, lid, creamer, sugar and stirrer. You're telling me you can't shave a couple bucks off the end profit margin to ensure that your customers are getting the best possible product, leaving the store with the intention of coming back. While I admit that I come back anyway, it is because again there is nothing near me and I do not have a car, but day one that I have a car will be the absolute last day I ever let Wawa's coffee sludge pass through my lips. Shitty coffee, old coffee, god damn that really grinds my fucking gears.

SHUT THE FUCK UP ON THE BUS!

I get so furious when I'm on riding the bus and stupid black teenagers get on the god damned bus coming from any one of 3 or 4 high schools that the route passes through. First, if they are from Sol Agricultural School, they are the loudest, most obnoxious and irritating group of black people that I have ever seen in my entire life. They get on the bus, there are dozens of them and the bus gets so overly crowded. Then you have these fucking niggers (yes I said niggers, because when they act the way these animals do, completely ignorant of anyone else's personal space or fucking eardrums there is no other word for it) yelling and screaming to each other from the back of the bus to the front of the bus. Then you see the way they act with each other, they're constantly sitting on each other's laps, they have slapfights with each other, something so strange, you always notice black people having slapfights with each other, must be a territorial jungle thing, having not been domesticated for very long quite yet. You also continuously see black males pushing and shoving or even like lightly slapping the females, somehow annoying them in some way, which to me it seems like they show their "affection" towards women the same way that a 3rd grader would. Well done there.

What's possibly worse than the black teenagers are the white teenagers, mostly girls, who act just like their nigger counterparts, this annoys me to no end. Your parents don't speak or act that way at home, why would you change yourself to closely resemble black people who can barely speak english and act like animals, and who within a few years will probably help to keep philadelphia's murder rate at it's highest levels. You're foolish, you'll get nowhere in life acting like that. Then there are ones who block the back door when people are trying to get out and make no effort to move out of your way when you're going by even when there are a number of empty seats on the bus they continue to block the door, sometimes causing normal people to miss their stop. This is completely unacceptable, get the fuck out of the way you ignorant fucking asshole!

I could go on and on about how these idiots act while they're on the bus, sometimes I start yelling at them to shut the fuck up, sometimes when they block me from getting out the door I just move full speed ahead sometimes knocking them off the bus, because I get so god damned fed up with their nonsense. I can't really go much further here without my head exploding so I'm going to stop. I'll just say that these fucking loonatics who act like animals on the bus (and I'm assuming at home and everywhere they go) really grind my fucking gears.

The Simpsons

The creators of the Simpsons have gotten a bit preachy in their stance against Bush and the war in Iraq. I watch shows like the Simpsons to be entertained not to be lectured. I can hear political bullshit everywhere else. Hell, there was a guy with an Impeach Cheney sandwich board standing outside the post office today. I liked the Simpsons when it was pure nonsense. It made me laugh out loud. Now I just get disgusted whenever the writers feel they need to make a political statement. It has gotten so bad that I don't watch any of the new ones anymore. I'm hoping that they will go back to the way they used to be and that someone will tell me when that happens so I can continue watching again. On a more selfish note, if they decide to kill off annoying Marge and meddlesome Lisa, then that would be a bonus. In the meanwhile, I'm watching Family Guy.

Stupid, Ignorant Parents and Their Kids

Every fucking day, twice a day, a circus is formed at the end of my street where it intersects a school bus route. This circus is filled with screaming kids, dogs, bikes, skateboards and parents. The street is very narrow and God forbid if anyone tries to drive out of it during the two times a day that the bus picks up and drops off these kids. I have no problem with where this is taking place or when. My problem is the irresponsibility of the parents in letting their kids zip in between the cars and out into the street while waiting for these buses. I have had the unfortunate experience of trying to drive out of my street during these times of the day, which I usually try and avoid. The car has to crawl as I have had kids dash out right in front of me with their parents busy jacking their jaws with each other. I've also had parents stand right in the only passible part of the street. They turn and look at me and keep talking. GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES! The situation is ridiculous. My friend is a cop and he shakes his head at the situation the few times he had to push through it. They sometimes even double park so that no car and pass through. And don't try and tell me that they are doing this to protect the children and cause cars to slow down. If they cared so much about the children they would keep them on a short leash and not tear it up as if they were whacked on coke. I mean seriously. The kids are going to school not a party. There is no need for bikes, skateboards and dogs to be running around while waiting for the bus. Look, I might sound like a miserable prick on this subject but the bottom line is I don't want to see a kid run over. A parent maybe, but not a kid.

Back in my day you walked alone to the bus. If your mother showed up with you the kids would throw stones and empty soda cans at you. You waited for the bus for 5 hours and when one came it only had three wheels and the smoke from the exhaust dry rotted your brain. All right, I made those last parts up. LOL!